8/20/12

I am officially deleting some old posts. It feels good to. I should have months ago. Live Life Love Kris <3 4 months and counting <3 Goodnight world Emmette

7/25/12

Well this is new. Posting via ipod touch . Sorry guys its been so long. I've been a busy beaver lol. Being part of a pit crew and only seeing your boyfriend 3 days a week does that to you. You'll be happy to know,my fellow readers, i'll be officially dating my man 4 months on the 8th of August :) my longest relationship and the best one ever. Erasing Logan was the best thing for me. Did i mention readers, Logan was hurting me emotionally and verbally? Abusive in ways i am glad to forget. I was so lost going on and on about him when secretly i loathed him and the way he hurt me and others. I wish to never see his face again for as long as i live! I'm not bitter. But any woman who has gone through such an experience would feel the same. Kristoffer, the love of my life, my one, my only, the one who loves me more than i will ever know, was a God send for me. He made me forget my past and want a better future for myself. He made me laugh when i felt like crying and makes me happier than anyone else in the universe. His voice lights up my world, as his smile lights up my heart. And those eyes, those deep, emerald green eyes, they pierce right through to my very soul. For my birthday he bought me an emerald necklace with 2 diamonds. Every time i look at it, i think of his gorgeous green eyes and the definite love showing through them. Kristoffer is truly one of a kind, the most wonderful man alive, and i am so glad to have met him. I love him more than words can describe. When i first started this blog i never thought i'd find a man quite like my Kristoffer. I thought i'd end up alone or with a dunda head i thought would actually care(Logan and/or Shane). Logan was a dilution of what i thought was the best i could ever get, when really Kristoffer was just waiting for me and my heart so he could snatch them up. In the most loving way a man can. My future with Kristoffer is bright. And it always and only will be he & me. I love you Kris
Welcome to Insomnia, Talk To You Soon World, All My Love, All My Heart, <3 Emmette

5/9/12

Great, my favorite font has been erased from blogspot. So much for uniqueness. *sighs* Well its been a month or so, and so much has gone on. Sorry for not constantly updating, also surprise! I'm writing this at 9 am instead of midnight. That's college for ya, up at ridiculously early hours(at least for me). School has been good, work sucks because i lost my new job(some stupid thing about over staffing), Shane is a proud high school dropout, Logan is no longer an issue in my life, and I found the love of my life(he was staring me in the face and i never saw it till a few months ago). I'm happy to report yesterday was my 1 month anniversary to Kristoffer(*real name used). Isn't that the coolest way to spell it? Kristoffer <3 Well i met him at the racetrack in August 2011, he's a driver, a complete NASCAR man(NASCAR I'm starting to like more n more), and the sweetest most wonderful guy I've ever met. My life is so much better/happier. Thank God!! I got blessed majorly to find Kristoffer, or actually he found me. That night in August i kicked and screamed because I'd rather have gone to this party that was the same night(typical teenager) than go to the racetrack. I am SO glad i went that night to the track. After the race, while visiting my sister's fiance, who is also a driver, a tall cute guy with acorn brown hair, glasses, and a hat came over and said "Hi". That's all he said "Hi", nothing else, only "Hi". He didn't say another word just kind of stood there. It still makes me laugh to this day. He told me later "I saw a cute girl, you, over there, so i came over to say 'Hi'. We became facebook friends after that, talking occasionally over chat or messaging. It all started when i asked if he had a cell, i was curious because he never carried one around at the track. He typed "Yea" and gave me his #  then asked if i had one or"are you just asking me if i had a cell for no reason" i laughed n gave him my # telling him i might surprise him n text him one day. i remember him telling me later "i was hoping to hear from you, but i didn't expect to actually hear from you." I text him a few days later freaking him out because he didn't know the #  then he realized it was me and we have texted every day since :) Now he calls me every night. Our first date was in early April and now we officially are together 1 month on May 8th. Details, details. He got me a silver encased saphire necklace for our 1 month, it was very unexpected but i just love it :) Well back to the Grind, the faster this week is done the faster the weekend comes, the faster my Kris is home and i love him more than anything.
Talk To You Soon World, All My Love <3
 Emmette

1/22/12

Today I'm going to put my own Poetry online, i own it don't even think of stealing it. it my personal thought put so you can read my mind for a day...

"I Swear"

I swear

To you,I never meant to let him die,

It was my loss,It was my heart,

I tried, you say I don't even care,

It matters to me every moment,

In my silence

I swear

We were ok,

Its not fair, I get all the blame,

Though you can't hear me,I scream to you,

I tell myself over and over,It wasn't all me

I swear

I make myself pay every day

I don't want to keep hearing it,

It racks my brain all day,

and bleeds my heart all night

I swear

Back then we were our best,

Remember our time, our fire

Now there's only matches left

and ashes mixed with tears

its sad. I'll post my happiness in the next blog entry

Welcome To Insomnia, Talk To You Soon World, All My Love <3 Emmette

1/15/12

Welcome to my world, lyfe-love war-peace. I'm back again. I want to write a sentence. that fits my love lyfe and my favorite songs for the wounded heart. "i was 'Love Drunk' the 'Teardrops On My Guitar' made me 'Leave Out All The Rest'. i 'Wait For You' but that's 'What Hurts The Most'. 'I Won't Apologize' for 'The Last Night' going 'Back To December'.my 'Wishes' are you haven't 'Forgotten' our 'LastKiss' i'm 'Sorry' i'll 'HoldOn' forever." Thank you music artists who wrote my story. I am in your debt.

Its days like these i ponder what lyfe would have been like if i'd changed a thing or two... like i'd never have made that fatal mistake, or i'd let my feelings out sooner. If only, if only... I had a second chance. It may sound like Romantic drivel to some but I think Taylor says it best...

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why

Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't

If only, If only*sighs* except the fact for me was...it was August

Sometimes I cry all over again...my heart breaks but all i have is quickfix superglue. I try so hard not to cry but i know i need to heal. its been 5 months.....I'm sorry

All My Heart, All My Love,....Emmette

1/13/12

I told you i wasn't persistent in my blogging *sighs*, so much has gone on lately.its just krazy with a capital"K". seeing old friends, partying up New Years,and missing my Logan so much over these days. its not right for me to leave such a long gaps between posts.I'm going to be on Campus soon, college was looking good for me for a while.i thought i knew what i wanted, but then i got scared i wasn't good enough to pass it. i considered another field but i won't be able to be in the field i enjoy,also i enjoy the second field too but its opposite of the one i want now. i have weird taste. Extreme x Extreme = Disaster? i don't know.on to other subjects...Hmmm guys are....strange.the male population is pretty weird. isn't it true teenage guys gossip more than teenage girls? all i hear is gossip from my second home.but not by all the girls ohhhh no,the guys are chattering, tweeting like bird's about the latest gossip,the new hookups, the new breakups, who's the school slut. pretty messed up the guys chitter together more than the girls. who carries all this gossip? the guys they spread it faster than fire....speaking of gossip I've been on the hit list as of late. apparently every guy and their cousin knows when I'm in town. its kindof creepy.i miss when we females were the busybodies. now the guys are, gets much more twisted that way :P

New Years is a krazy time. all these resolutions no one follows, all the drunks driving late at night, all the people acting like idiots, its really sad. but there can also be good on a night like New Years spending time with close friends wondering how our new year will be, what things we plan to do over 2012, graduation, Prom, and lyfe. when your 17 all you think about is graduating, high school relationships, sports, gossip, getting your licence, having a car, and growing up.we grow up to fast, our generation ladies and gentlemen is..."The Fast,The Forgotten, and the Free" the older i get the more i realize that the world is getting more n more insane. guys being less n less mature, girls taking less n less responsibility.our generation is getting lazier and lazier.believe it or not all we do is tap our iPhones, play our computers, watch our TVs, play our xboxs,and be on our social networks. I'm not one to talk because i do all these things. but i realize i can live without them. its hard going without iPhones and social networks in this day n age because almost everything is digital. going without these things for a week is like going "cold turkey"for some people, because of the dependency on all things electronic. even books and board games have gone digital. Kindle and online Checkers. i like a good book. i like turning every page.its an accomplishment to read a 700 page book, because everyone else won't take the time to do even that.they don't even turn a page its digitally flipped for them. how lazy can we be? staring at a screen and staring at a page are two very different things.

Welcome To Insomnia, Talk To You Soon World, All My Love Emmette

12/25/11

Long time no write,its Christmas Night, people are sleeping and all through the house,not a creature is stirring, only the insomniac me. It doesn't rhyme but hey that's ok, its been a long time since I've written.Sadness and Joy found its way to me this Christmas season, I've been pretty happy these past few weeks preparing myself to face this nutty new year, with losing some parts of me and gaining others.My Sadness was missing my best friend, my partner in crime, no teasing over presents, no jokes about underwear,we hardly speak. Christmas is a time of Happiness and Joy, like last year i was kissed before Christmas, promised everything would be all right. it wasn't ok, but i feel sad sometimes about it. time to quote again "Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away...". or parts of a song called" I Hate Christmas Parties" by one of my favorites Relient K

[Verse] I hope it snows this week,  A snow flake on your cheek Would make this Christmas so Beautiful But that would just bring the pain Cause things can’t stay the same These Holidays won’t be wonderful  [Chorus] I look under the tree But there’s nothing to see Cause it’s a broken heart that you’re giving me  I can’t figure you out Is this what Christmas is all about Cause it’s a broken heart that you’re giving me  [Verse 2] I don’t wanna talk I’m sick of all this talking A broken heart wrapped up in a Box There's tear drops in my stocking 

Weeping Angels are Watching,Welcome To Insomnia, Talk To You Soon World,

All My Love, Emmette